The truth about those big emotional reactions we work so hard to hide

You know those moments when something "small" sends you into a spiral – of rage, embarrassment, defensiveness, shutdown? 

Your emotions run riot, and you often feel like you are a child again. You try to cover it up, especially at work, but the feelings are real, and deeply uncomfortable. You may well act in ways that you later regret. 

That’s not you being dramatic.

It’s not weakness.

And it’s not over-reacting.

It’s one of your fingerprint needs being touched.

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Each of us has around two to five of these core needs. 

Mine, for example, include knowing that I’m good enough and authenticity. 

We usually have a long history of these needs not being met – often stretching right back into childhood.

So when one of them is touched in the present day, our emotional brain – the limbic system – reacts not just to what’s happening now, but to all the times that that need went unmet in the past. 

Put me in a situation where someone challenges me in particular ways, or is less than honest, and I'm likely to react much more strongly than someone with different fingerprint needs.

Old feelings rise up fast. It can be overwhelming.

Our thinking brain – the prefrontal cortex – goes offline.

And in that moment, we often react rather than respond.

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So here’s the shift:

💡 When you know your fingerprint needs are at play, you stop being blindsided by your reactions.

💡 You begin to be able recognise the pattern – and choose a different way forward.

💡 And that can change everything: your relationships, your leadership, and the way you see yourself.

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✨ Here's the link to a free Guide to Fingerprint Needs if you’d like to explore more.