What's wrong with saying 'What can I do to help'?
Absolutely nothing, but in some contexts we can do even better.
Here's the transcript for those who prefer to read:
So a quick thought about languaging when you are offering help to somebody triggered by my lovely friends who stayed this weekend, and they know I'm not very good at having people overnight.
And as they were leaving and we were stripping beds and clearing up the kitchen and so on, one of them came in and said, ‘Alice, would you like me to go into your cupboards, find some clean sheets and put them on the bed?’ And then he said, ‘and would you like me to take the bins out for you?’
And in that situation, I think I might well have said 'how can I help?' or 'what can I do to help you?' And I would have responded to myself, 'No, it's fine. Thank you. It's just brilliant what you've already done. Thank you very much.'
The specificity of the offer, and it being out of the field of things that I would imagine I could have asked for, meant both that it was possible to say 'yes' or 'no', or whatever I wanted to, and also that I felt very seen and connected with in my dislike of house guests.
So when you're offering somebody help, a suggestion that you might consider whether it's more helpful to say 'how can I help you?' Or whether, on this occasion, it's more helpful to give a specific offering. Hope that helps.