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How to respond to unreasonable requests

Writer's picture: Alice SheldonAlice Sheldon

Your boss asks you to take on a big project when you're already stretched thin. Your colleague wants you to present on a topic you don’t feel qualified to speak about. When a request feels unrealistic, how do you hold your boundaries—without damaging the relationship?

 

💭 Introduction: What happens when someone’s request feels unreasonable or impossible to say yes to? Should you just say no, or is there another way forward?


💭 Main Tip: Whilst a request might seem unrealistic, the underlying need is always valid. Instead of rejecting the request outright, try acknowledging the need behind it. This helps you explore alternative ways to meet it.


💭 Example: For example, if a colleague asks for a time extension that you can’t see a way of granting, instead of saying, “That’s not possible,” you might say, “I hear that you need more time to do this well. Let’s see what’s possible whilst keeping awareness of the deadline?” This keeps the conversation open and focused on solutions.


💭 Over to you: This week, if someone makes a request that seems unreasonable, you could try pausing and consider, “What’s the need behind this?” Try addressing the need rather than just the request.


💭 Closing: Acknowledging needs—without automatically agreeing to requests—helps foster better conversations and solutions. Let me know how this works for you!

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What people say
2024.02.29 Jonny.jpg

Needs Understanding is such a powerful and flexible tool.

It's helped me to find new ways forward in challenging situations, and to build even stronger relationships.

Jonathan Parr, Headteacher,

UK Junior School

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