Are you judging yourself too harshly?

Are you judging yourself too harshly?

When we suffer a setback, our minds can jump straight to self-blame. It’s easy to take a particular failure and turn it into a sweeping value judgment about ourselves.

This Quick Tip is about spotting the difference between what actually happened and the story we tell ourselves about it.

💭 Introduction: Have you ever had a setback and immediately thought, ‘This proves I’m not good enough!’ Our minds often create stories that aren’t actually true but that haunt us in our daily lives.

💭 Main Tip: A helpful way to work with self-judgment is to separate what’s true from what’s an assumption. When something difficult happens, it’s easy to take it as a judgment of our worth—but often, it’s about something much more specific.

💭 Example: Imagine you propose a budget for a project, and your client rejects it, saying, “This is too expensive, and we have a more reasonable alternative.” The true part is: They didn’t accept your budget. But the story you might then tell yourself is: ‘I’m not worth that much’.

In reality, the rejection could be about their budget constraints, a misunderstanding of what you have to offer, or your own lack of experience with current market levels. Recognising the real issue (pricing strategy, rather than personal worth) helps you respond constructively instead of doubting yourself.

💭 Over to You: This week, if you face a setback, you could pause and ask: ‘What’s true here, and what’s just a story I’m telling myself?’ See how this shift affects your thinking and what you want to do about it.

💭 Closing: Recognising the difference between fact and self-judgment helps us move forward with clarity and confidence. Let me know how this works for you!